Couples Therapy

Conflict is an inevitable part of a committed, romantic relationship.

“96% of the time you can predict the outcome of a conversation based on the first three minutes of a fifteen-minute interaction.” –John Gottman, psychologist and expert on marriage and divorce

Living “happily ever after” is not about never getting mad or disagreeing. Rather, it’s about engaging in these tough moments with the skills and tools to stay connected and engaged.

Take this typical conflict scenario: “The problem with you is… you never listen! All you do is work… then you come home and don’t even pay attention to me or the kids.”

It’s very easy for couples to get into a bad habit of interacting negatively and disrespectfully. When things seem as though they never change and you feel alone and unappreciated… yes, emotions are running high!

It’s easy to use criticism and contempt when addressing our partners but, in therapy, you’ll learn that IT DOES YOU NO GOOD! If you come in for the attack, the ending is written before the conversation even begins.

Together, we will learn to shift the way you approach conflict…

Start the conversation gently, eliminate judgment, speak clearly and in positive terms about what you need, and show respect and appreciation.

Couples therapy: Growing together, not drifting apart…

Taking the time and investing in couples therapy will allow you and your partner to come up for air.

Together, we can rebuild the foundation of your relationship, create shared meaning, practice healthy conflict management, and learn better ways of communicating and supporting each other.

Through the use of Gottman Method Couples Therapy, which is built on more than 40 years of clinical research, we will focus on the concept of the “Sound Relationship House.” Just as any structure needs the elements of a solid foundation, strong walls, and well-developed floors and layers that can support the entity as a whole, so, too, does a relationship!

In therapy, you will learn to disarm heated verbal communication, remove road blocks that evoke feelings of stagnation, and create an environment that promotes deep understanding, respect, empathy, affection, and intimacy.

Here’s what we’ll do to get there:

You and your partner will come in for an initial session. Coffee, tea, snacks, and an office space with good vibes and comfort… I’ve got you covered!

Next we’ll discuss your relationship history, philosophy, and goals for therapy.

Then, we’ll determine the best structure and parameters for therapy that are most likely to promote healing. Considerations can include whether you’re doing couples or individual sessions, the length of sessions, the frequency and duration of those sessions, and your openness to homework.

At that point, we’ll review the techniques and strategies we’ll use to strengthen your relationship. Every couple (same-sex or other) is different, but here are some of the things we might work on:

… communication challenges, frequent conflict, emotional distance, sexual challenges, substance abuse/addiction, trauma, cultural differences, infidelity, financial concerns, and parenting challenges.